Did I suggest somewhere in the previous episode that X3 resembled a kondatum, a dried twig? Perhaps I ought to take back that characterization and replace it with milch cow, as my hapless protagonist can surely be milked for another story at least.
I happened to quiz X3 on his sadhana (spiritual practices) and he told me that he had been practicing kriya yoga (a breathing technique used in meditation, see 1 & 2 for more information) for very many years. He said that in the years when he had been laid low by unspecified afflictions, kriya was the thing that kept him going and eventually returned his health to a semblance of normality. I filed this information away under Health Science in my brain, after briefly toying with and rejecting the idea of filing it under Humour. The takeaway lesson seemed to be: No matter how bad it gets, don’t stop breathing! Obviously, the irony and hilarity of this moral was not lost on me.
I enquired whether his longstanding sadhana had resulted in any unusual states of consciousness. I asked him with a wink whether he had come across Nirvikalpa Samadhi yet, or perhaps that other puppy Savikalpa Samadhi. He took my ribbing in good humour and said that he was far away from such exalted states. However, he claimed that he did have one unusual ability. My curiosity piqued, I asked him what it was. He told me that he could see a green light in the area of the Ajna Chakra (a spiritual energy center roughly correlated with the center of the forehead). I told him that was really cool and tried to find out more about the nature of this green light. Was it bright like a halogen lamp or was it like an LED (light emitting diode)? I asked him if he could see my green light as we spoke. He clarified that the vision only appeared after he entered a state of deep meditation, about 20 minutes into his routine. Furthermore, he could not see anyone else’s green light, he sheepishly explained; he could only see the one in his own forehead and that too when he had his eyes closed.
What a bummer! I would have been really tickled to obtain third-party verification of my third eye. I suppose it was not to be. There was no real reason to expect that encounter to be very different from the general run of my life which had been anything but a smooth drive through green lights. The reality was red lights and traffic violations with the odd DUI thrown in. For the most part, my life’s journey has felt like riding the wrong way through a one-way street. I just sit behind the wheel in terror, not knowing when I am going to be blown up by oncoming traffic.
The most recent example of a red light is the removal of the one constant in my post-Amma life. Under severe work pressure, I have been forced to discontinue my meticulous practice of japam (chanting of a mantra). I used to do over 40 malas (rosaries) per day and had just crossed what seemed to be a landmark: 5 million in cumulative japams but Amma appears to have had enough of my counting games. With a grumble, I now move to a new regime where I will perform japam on an ad hoc basis, whenever time permits. No more counting. No longer will I need to update the cute little spreadsheet, complete with bells and whistles in the form of graphs and diagnostic statistics, that I used to maintain to track my score. Yesterday, I closed the account with a red line at the bottom and a note saying “Account terminated”. I feel like a child whose favourite toy has just been snatched away.
I am unsure whether the loss of this prop represents an advance or a decline. All I can do now, I suppose, is to stop counting and start chanting in every free moment. May ad hoc turn into ad infinitum by Her grace.
Om Amriteshwaryai Namah
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Dude,
Maybe you don't know this, but Kriya Yoga is meant to be a powerful sadhana. This question of breathing or not is a very interesting thing. While, stopping of breath is associated with death, it is also associated with life according to Kriya Yoga. In the later case, it is more voluntary, that is all. Apparently (according to Kriya Yoga), we are born with our life span programmed on the number of breath we are allowed during the life span. After which we will simply fall dead. So, if you can control your breathing such that frequency of breathing comes down, then you can potentially extend your life. There are stories about saints who successfully control the breath. Mahavatar Babaji has been living for past 3000 years or so according to "Autobiography of Yogi". There are stories of saints (Matsyendranath, for instance)who held their breath and took the life out of the current body and lived sometime in another body for many years and then coming back to their original body. Gampopa, Milerapa's disciple, practiced breathing exercise and used to breath once a day.
Anonymous,
I was not unaware of the reputation of kriya yoga. I did go through 'Autobiography of a Yogi' some years ago and recall that my hair stood up on end when I contemplated the fact that Babaji might still be walking the earth. I just struck a flippant note in this episode, that is all. I did not mean to diss kriya yoga or anything like that. As a matter of fact, the protagonist in my story swore by the restorative powers of his sadhana. He claimed it brought him back from the brink.
Notwithstanding my healthy intellectual appreciation, which it might fairly be said is no appreciation at all, of the power of breath control, I continue to breathe (regretfully!) at the rate programmed.
Best wishes
hw
Radhika,
Some clarifications and responses:
(1) "Negating the ego" in the sense of attaching a negative sign to the ego instead of eliminating it -- this is not the outcome of a voluntary act in my case. The Guru created circumstances in my life that made me feel small.
(2) On seeming old, experienced and intelligent -- I plead guilty to the first without reservation and admit that there may be some circumstantial evidence in support of the second charge, but I proclaim innocence in respect of the third accusation. It is funny but true that I am not particularly intelligent. And that is an objective assessment, not my "negative ego" speaking. I may entertain half an illusion about my writing abilities, but other than that it's nada.
(3) Amused to learn that my handle triggered your "Ant" post. I went back to read it again. I recall thinking on vaguely parallel lines in the past, and coming to the understanding that human beings have three innate capacities: (a) Animal -- characterized by our appetites and instinctual drives, (b) Human -- represented chiefly by the faculty of discrimination and analysis and (c) Divine -- the lives of the saints provide an asymptotic approximation of what it might mean to be divine in terms of compassion, selflessness etc. As human beings, our mission must be to deploy our discriminative abilities to check our animal nature and manifest our latent divinity. Not sure if you were saying what I am saying here, somewhere in your long checklists, but if you even thought about it hazily, I am in agreement with you.
(4) I won't go into your grumble with the worm word, other than to say that it is just a metaphor. There was some logic in my choice, but there was also some history. I went from cool glow worm to faint glow to humble worm as I changed fora and email IDs over time. Therefore I would not construct a whole psychoanalytic theory based on this. Anyway, if you wish to continue this discussion or other tangential threads, feel free to write me offline at fNaOiCnAtPgIlow@yTaAhLoo.cSom. (You'll have to remove the bolded, capitalized characters from the email ID) I don't have the time to keep up a very active dialogue, but a sporadic one may be possible.
(5) Your Bhagavan story is interesting. I will think about it. I also have a connection of sorts with Bhagavan. I believe He led me to my Guru. I may relate that story at some point in the future. As a matter of fact, in a bid to square that circle, I made a visit -- my first ever -- to Thiruvannamalai last year.
(6) I take your kind points about the ill effects of negativity and cynicism. I am not proud of my cynicism. On the contrary, it is more like an addiction, not easy to beat. Coincidentally, since you talked about ants, my favourite aunt (ant in the American pronunciation) makes the same point from time to time. She would have me look in the mirror every day and tell myself that I am great and wonderful and such other bilge, a la Dale Carnegie maybe. I tell her that Dale Carnegie committed suicide.
(7) Finally, there is no call for deference. The internet is an egalitarian place and age and experience don't count for very much here. You don't need to defer to me on the third count anyway ;)
Best wishes
hw
Radhikaji,
I was going to let this thread die of neglect, or otherwise take it offline, but here I am again, making replies to replies ad infinitum.
Although I like to spar with my aunt, she was probably right in a way that she could not articulate and I would not recognize then. Recently I read half of a very interesting book, Phantoms in the Brain by Dr. V.S. Ramachandran. What I took away from that book, and from the movie What The Bleep Do We Know?, which also I happened to view recently, allows me to hypothesize that auto-suggestion is a very real, exploitable phenomenon. Going one level beyond the classical and into the quantum domain, consciousness may even bring physical reality into being. So such therapies may not be too far off the mark. However, belief is probably essential to their efficacy ie. you have to believe that they will work.
Your second Ramana quote carries an important lesson that I filed away some time ago, but perhaps implement only fitfully. I remember coming across that bit of Bhagavan's advice some years ago. Guess I am not completely illiterate, ;) huh? Anyway, it is good to be reminded of this.
On your last bit of advice, I must express profound disagreement. I think it is OK to diversify your sources of satsang, provided your heart and center is in one place and that, for a devotee, should be at the feet of the Guru. Sri Ramakrishna used to tell a story, and I think Amma does too, of the fellow who dug many shallow wells and failed to strike water, when a single deep well would have done the job. Also, if you are bhakti-oriented, and I consider myself to be so (albeit in an evolutionary sense), your relationship with the Divine is intensely anthropomorphic, and issues such as loyalty, love and commitment come into play. Despite the many temptations that life has flung my way, I have always been a one-woman-man ;) -- be it in relation to my daughter, wife, birth mother or Divine Mother and Satguru.
I forgot to thank you earlier, for your attention and feedback. Appreciate your interest.
Post a Comment