Part 8: The Purpose Of My Visit

Before coming down to Amritapuri, I had met Amma, for the first time in my life, in the country where I reside. My first darshan (I plan to leave the narration of that event to a later date) took place just four months prior to my Amritapuri visit. It was only after going through the first darshan and attendant interaction with other devotees that I began to grasp the contours of Amma's routine and methods. I quickly figured out that I wanted to take mantra-diksha (initiation into disciplehood with a holy phrase) and learnt that it was normally done during Devi Bhava.

My first darshan was a quick in-and-out affair and I had not bothered to stick around for any of Her satsangs (spiritual gatherings), much less the Devi Bhava. However, soon after Her departure from my country, I found my spiritual hunger increasing by leaps and bounds. I wanted to do something, anything to get started on the spiritual curve. I kicked myself for not taking mantra-diksha, when I had the chance during that very first visit. I thought things over and decided I could not wait for another year to pass, before I did something that at least seemed concrete.

Mantra-Japa (continuous chanting of the mantram) appealed to me more than some of the other forms of spiritual effort such as pooja (ritualistic worship) or seva (service). All my life, I had been inclined to view poojas as something of a spectator sport at best, and a nuisance at worst. My visits to temples also had been few and far between, undertaken with reluctance or under family pressure. As for seva, although I had read enough by then to appreciate that selfless service was an integral element of the spiritual path, I was not yet ready to grab a broom or write a cheque.

So anyway, the point of that preamble was to explain that one of my missions in visiting Amritapuri was to take mantra-diksha from Amma. There were other objectives as well. I have a child with a serious medical issue and my family (more than I) hoped for some kind of benevolent intercession from Amma. My wife and child had accompanied me on my first darshan, so the issue had already been brought to Amma's notice, but my wife wanted me to make a second reference. This (the child's condition) is an issue that absolutely dominates my wife's consciousness, so I saw no harm in following her suggestion. Also, prior to my travel, I had consulted with one of Amma's Swamis (ascetic disciple); he told us that Amma sometimes asks for sandalwood paste to be applied, and that with Her blessing we might observe some amelioration of our child's condition. So I had come down to Amritapuri, armed with a stick of sandalwood and expected to get it blessed by Amma.

Apart from these two major objectives, I also intended to use my visit to conduct a deeper survey of the Amma phenomenon. I had been attracted to Amma via her biography and the Road to Freedom books but now, as I stood on the cusp of a deeper involvement with Amma, I wanted to check things out in person. My intention was not to conduct any rigorous kind of study; rather the idea was to absorb influences that would either confirm my intuition that Amma was my Guru or weaken it. The mission was data collection, in other words.

Om Amriteshwaryai Namah